Ganked from meepettermu

[ng_moonmoth]

who posted this last week, motivated by Tuesday's being Transgender Day of Visibility.

Ask me a question. Anything you're curious about? Anything you don't understand but want to? There's one question on the list I feel strongly enough about to give you the answer for free; I think I'm comfortable answering all the others. Pick a number and comment or send a private message. If you'd like to ask me something not listed, I might not be able to answer but I won't be offended you asked.

I'm not engaging in gender critical discussions on feminism, transphobia, or hate, because ain't nobody got time for sadness.

I want to help people understand trans people better.

1. Has being trans been an obstacle in your life with friends, family, work, etc?
2. How long have you known?
3. What are your pronouns?
4. How did you pick your name?
5. What's your favorite dinosaur?
6. Why would you want to be a guy/girl?
7. What does AMAB or AFAB mean?
8. What do you feel like you missed out on most in your childhood (if you transitioned later)
9. What has been your favorite part of transitioning so far?
10. What worries you most as a trans person?
11. Does your family accept you?
12. How has transitioning changed your life?
13. What has surprised you most about transitioning?
14. What would have made it easier for you to come out?
15. What has been the hardest part of your transition so far?
16. How do you know you're trans?
17. How does it feel to transition?
18. How did you tell your family, friends, work, etc., tha?
19. Are you fully transitioned?
20. What's the hardest part of your experience as a trans person?
21. Why not just be a "feminine guy"/"masculine woman"?
22. How do you think your life would be different if you could have transitioned younger?
23. What is the best part about being trans?
24. Have you had any surgeries? Are you going to?

Please don't ask this of any trans person. Or anyone you suspect might be a trans person. It's only slightly less offensive than asking what's in their pants. (That one I'll actually tell you:. Right now I'm not wearing pants, so, "air". When I am wearing pants, the answer is "my legs, my crotch, and my torso up to my waist.") Not quite in the same league as asking what their crotch looks like. (I've got two answers for that one. If the asker doesn't strike me as the kind of person who can take a hint as to how out of line that question is, they'll get the cold and clinical "You aren't a doctor I have decided to have care for that part of my body, and we aren't having or planning sex with each other. And you just took yourself out of consideration for either role by that question." Someone who looks like they might actually get a clue may get "I'll show you mine if you show me yours.")

25. How can I make things better for you?
26. What are you most excited about in your transition?
27. What's non-binary?
28. What do you wish you could tell younger you, as a trans person?
29. What are you most excited for in your transition?
30. I want to ask another question / AMA

Comments

[shadaras]

4 and 5! :D

If there's anything you wanna share about 28, that's always a question I find interesting to hear answers to.

[ng_moonmoth]

Someone else asked 5 already. I answered it above.

4: My impression is that names generally come with gender baggage. Fashions may change over time, but people generally think of names as being associated with a specific gender, no matter how many genders one's culture may sanction. And for those names that more than one gender uses, each person's impression will likely wind up biased by their experience.

I opened my mind to a name that was consistent with my personal image, easy enough to pronounce and spell, and uncommon enough to not have too much experiential gender baggage. The first one I got was an invented name, but you wouldn't guess the spelling or pronunciation from the other, so I kept looking. A few months ago, another one popped up that hits all the targets. I've tried it out in public since, and it seems to work well.

That's the first name. I've also picked out two middle names that tie into my family of origin (and has an interesting connection with someone in spouse's family), and a last name that is a metaphorical translation into another language of my current last name. Those parts already suit me well.

For 28, I would say: "Be who you are. Do not subsume that into who people tell you you "must" or "should" be for the sake of other goals you value."