Self-Knowledge Question #12: Would I Lie to You?

[ng_moonmoth]

Initial post on what I'm doing here.

12. What lies do you continuously tell to those around you?

It's one I "tell" by not speaking. I spend much more of my time than is good for me passively allowing people to believe my gender identity and sexuality match their observation of my life and experiences, and treating me as though that were the case, rather than speaking up about it and engaging them from my actual perspective.

Comments

[brujah]

Wow, that's a really interesting question. Thank you for sharing your answers. I've been sitting here, staring at your entry, for a few minutes wondering what answer I'd give and how the people in my life would react to that answer.

[ng_moonmoth]

Yeah, it was one I had a hard time with, too. Lying to others is not part of my makeup -- and that's generally good. I'm much better at selective disclosure than telling outright falsehoods. And spin is another thing I can do -- effectively narrating a fantasy that is better, or perhaps less threatening, than the reality. And although I can convince myself that the mistaken impressions that result are not my doing, I also realize that what I said enabled, and possibly encouraged, it. A life lived with the level of honesty and transparency that wouldn't do either of those things seems very challenging, though. I suspect it would be better in theory than it would turn out to be in practice.

And, like you, I definitely wonder how people will react when I climb out from behind the crumbling facade I am currently protecting my identity behind. There are a couple of questions coming soon where I'll have more to say about that.