Self-Knowledge Question #14: Would I Lie to Me?

[ng_moonmoth]

Initial post on what I'm doing here.

14. Are there any lies you’ve been telling yourself regularly? Such as I’m ugly, why am I so stupid, no one loves me, etc.

The one I confront most often is my impression, which may well be mistaken, that what I would suffer from asserting and routinely expressing my gender identity significantly outweighs what I currently endure by generally concealing and suppressing it. And that this supports my concealing and suppressing my gender identity.

Comments

[gingicat]

Oh, that SUCKS.

Some of friends who have transitioned are generally happy to talk to those who need to do so. PM me if you would like me to connect you.

[redsixwing]

Ouch. :(

I continue to wish you fortitude and the perseverance to continue.

Fortitude and perseverance

[ng_moonmoth]

Fortunately, those are things I have in plentiful supply. I firmly believe that I will be the better when I'm not spending as much emotional energy as I do pretending to be a gender that I'm not. How to make being the gender I am not itself come across as gender pretense is the tricky thing that's getting in the way right now. Progress there is slow and stumbling, but it is happening.

Thank you very much for the sympathy, good wishes, and encouragement. Knowing there are people rooting for me helps keep me going.

[ng_moonmoth]

Thanks for the offer. I know a decent number of trans folks already, and have seen the difference claiming their identity has made for them. A couple of them have already worked out that I'm one of them, and those will be people I will eventually wind up talking at length with.

I'm most interested in finding other people who are crafting a gender identity that is not culturally supported. (My own is nonbinary.) The people I know in this category are not ones I see IRL regularly, or even at all. Anyone in this category who has not undertaken hormonal or surgical support of their gender identity would be especially welcome.

Email contact coming via PM.