>> This confirmed to me that the gender identity I should claim needed to be something other than my normative gender identity, and also helped me understand how to refine my search for my new identity. <<
I am so glad that gender counseling helped for you! While I've heard many horror stories about mental health care -- it's very hit or miss -- this branch of it seems to be among the most successful. So thanks for sharing your story.
>> Between then and now, I have been working out which aspects of my normative gender expression I wanted to keep, which aspects I would choose to discard, and which forms of expression that lie outside normative boundaries I wished to include. <<
Exploring gender can be a long and perilous quest if the answers are not found near at hand, but must be tracked down and located at great distances.
>> My gender identity is “me”. I will not adopt any forms of expression because they are normative for any gender identity, but instead according to what I believe would encourage others to interact with me as I wish to be interacted with. <<
That's kind of what I wound up with. My current body is female, my personality leans masculine, but I'm a genderqueer shapeshifter so I don't really fit into a box. I started out with things like pansexual/omnisexual, picked up genderqueer along the way, and largely settled on metasexual. In recent years I've also come to say that my sexuality is a tesseract.
>> I can allow my presentation or behavior to align with normative expression for some gender without refuting it or identifying as a member of the gender my behavior may currently be normative for. <<
Yay! I am so happy for you. Self-discovery can be exciting and satisfying.
Most of the time I like neutral-to-masculine clothes. But for certain occasions, I really need a dress. People who know me often look at me funny: "You're wearing a dress. You never wear dresses." "I am secure in my masculinity." *laugh* I just like the feminine mode of belly dancing -- I have the body for it -- and dressing up for fancy restaurants. If I had to stand up at a wedding though, I'd want a tux.
Thoughts
I am so glad that gender counseling helped for you! While I've heard many horror stories about mental health care -- it's very hit or miss -- this branch of it seems to be among the most successful. So thanks for sharing your story.
>> Between then and now, I have been working out which aspects of my normative gender expression I wanted to keep, which aspects I would choose to discard, and which forms of expression that lie outside normative boundaries I wished to include. <<
Exploring gender can be a long and perilous quest if the answers are not found near at hand, but must be tracked down and located at great distances.
>> My gender identity is “me”. I will not adopt any forms of expression because they are normative for any gender identity, but instead according to what I believe would encourage others to interact with me as I wish to be interacted with. <<
That's kind of what I wound up with. My current body is female, my personality leans masculine, but I'm a genderqueer shapeshifter so I don't really fit into a box. I started out with things like pansexual/omnisexual, picked up genderqueer along the way, and largely settled on metasexual. In recent years I've also come to say that my sexuality is a tesseract.
>> I can allow my presentation or behavior to align with normative expression for some gender without refuting it or identifying as a member of the gender my behavior may currently be normative for. <<
Yay! I am so happy for you. Self-discovery can be exciting and satisfying.
Most of the time I like neutral-to-masculine clothes. But for certain occasions, I really need a dress. People who know me often look at me funny: "You're wearing a dress. You never wear dresses." "I am secure in my masculinity." *laugh* I just like the feminine mode of belly dancing -- I have the body for it -- and dressing up for fancy restaurants. If I had to stand up at a wedding though, I'd want a tux.