For 3, my pronouns (xe/xyr/xyrs/xyrself) are in my profile. But they/them is appropriate anywhere my gender is not germane to the topic. (Example: "ng_moonmoth said they were going to the supermarket" vs. "ng_moonmoth is upset because there are no gender-neutral restroooms on the convention floor, and xe is uncomfortable enough in "men's" or "women's" room that xe goes up to xyr room instead.")
The thing I'd most appreciate for 25 is something you may well do already, which is to not presume my or anyone else's gender identity based on anything other that what they say it is. Also, someone displaying their pronouns is likely OK with your noting that, but, absent better gender-signaling presentation options, if you'd leave it at that and let them decide how much they wanted to say about their gender identity.
I personally go somewhat further in not presuming someone's gender, by using "they" for any person whose gender identity I do not know. This is my way of mitigating the gender stereotyping that all too often gets dragged along with the description. Even if someone looks like they have an estrogen-influenced body type, and is wearing woman-normative clothes, marking them as a woman and evaluating them by whatever behavior standards one associates with that marking strikes me as often inaccurate, sometimes unfair, and occasionally outright insensitive or abusive. So I don't do it or bring it into conversations unnecessarily.
Regarding 26, I continue to notice how much more open and energetic and approachable I am when I am not laboring under the burden of gender pretense. Apparently being authentic about who I am shows.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-04-06 04:35 pm (UTC)The thing I'd most appreciate for 25 is something you may well do already, which is to not presume my or anyone else's gender identity based on anything other that what they say it is. Also, someone displaying their pronouns is likely OK with your noting that, but, absent better gender-signaling presentation options, if you'd leave it at that and let them decide how much they wanted to say about their gender identity.
I personally go somewhat further in not presuming someone's gender, by using "they" for any person whose gender identity I do not know. This is my way of mitigating the gender stereotyping that all too often gets dragged along with the description. Even if someone looks like they have an estrogen-influenced body type, and is wearing woman-normative clothes, marking them as a woman and evaluating them by whatever behavior standards one associates with that marking strikes me as often inaccurate, sometimes unfair, and occasionally outright insensitive or abusive. So I don't do it or bring it into conversations unnecessarily.
Regarding 26, I continue to notice how much more open and energetic and approachable I am when I am not laboring under the burden of gender pretense. Apparently being authentic about who I am shows.